Thursday, April 1, 2010

Observations from the Movie Theatre

We went to see to How to Train Your Dragon last week at the local big screen cinema. The movie was excellent, but I have some complaints, as you may well have guessed, aside from the ticket prices, which have gone up again. This is due to them raising the minimum wage. How that works I dunno.

First off, we got there on time. Seeing that there are 2 1/2 hours of commercials for every 2 hours of movie, I figured we have plenty of time to get our seats for a 1:20 start at 1:15. But of course we need some snacks first. So I get my fine self in the looong line at the concession. This has got to be the slowest lineup on earth. I've been in lines at the Ministry of Transportation that moved faster. Now me, I take this opportunity to check the board and see what it is exactly I want to order. I mean what the hell else are you gonna do in line? Finally the line moves to the woman in front of me. By this time I have been in line for literally 10 minutes. Shamu gets up to counter then promptly hums and haas as to what to buy. Seriously? We just stood in line for 10 minutes and you still don't know what to order? It's a frickin movie theatre! Just order a goddamn garbage bag of popcorn and barrel of pop like the rest of us! Nope skinny wants nachos, popcorn, peanuts, skittles, and to top it off cotton candy. Cotton Candy??? WTF! I didn't even know they had that! I thought cotton candy was like Christmas fruit cake. You see it everywhere, but no one actually eats that shit do they? Anyway after making the poor kid behind the counter walk the equivalent of a trip from here to Istanbul, she finally has everything she wants. Her total is $46! Holy crap! That's a steak dinner lady!

I finally have my popcorn and pop and am ready for the movie. I did however miss the coming attractions, which I must admit I do enjoy seeing. It was a very busy movie and there we 5 of us. You think we could find 5 seats together? Nope! I missed the memo put out by the local government regarding the spread of cooties apparantly. I guess the rule is you have to leave at least 2 seats between you and the stranger beside you. Heaven forbid you scooched down and sat beside someone you didn't know! We needed one of those old ushers form the 20's with one of those three foot flashlights to make people move. Anywho, we ended up sitting in one of the first 2 rows of seats. They did recline nicely, so I guess it all worked out in the end.

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